Did the Panties Have to Be Red?
by I.W.P-chan
Summary: Goro has a Problem, and that Problem is called Joker.


Summary: Goro has a Problem, and that Problem is called Joker.

 _Note: the idea was born at some point during the collab with GranBlue Fantasy, and here we are, months later…_

 **Warnings: Akechi Is Thirsty, The Akechi/Joker Is Pretty One-Sided (For Understandable Reasons), Goro's Girlfriend Is His Worst Enabler, Ryuji Wants Out Of This Hell.**

 **Disclaimer:** Don't own P5.

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Deep pants sounded straight into his ear, low and suspiciously erotic, and Goro had to take a deep breath to re-center himself, forcibly yanking his mind out of the gutter and refocusing on the screen in front of him, hands gripping the controller tighter as he hit the dodge button, causing Joker to roll away from an incoming strike.

A few more button mashes, and the enemy was finished, leaving Joker in the remains of the fighting arena, health gauge in the red, clutching at his side and panting.

Panting that was still going through the headset into Goro's ears and straight into his groin.

No video game character had any right being _that_ hot.

.

Anyone who knew Goro well enough knew that the main character of the new game _Metaverse Raid_ , Joker, was the sole reason Goro even bought it.

He then proceeded to sink his time and money and energy (and his soul, Ryuji would say) into it.

.

Goro lied down in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling while his brain tried to pick itself up from its fried and charred remains after he spent the whole day doing fancy acrobatics with Joker in his butler DLC outfit.

(He may or may not have vented his overpowering thirst into a doc. But that was a secret.)

Next to him, Futaba giggled sinisterly while she scrolled through her phone.

"What are you doing, 'Taba?" He blinked blearily at her, and she sent him a devious grin illuminated by the light coming from her phone's screen.

He reached a hand to thread it through her long hair, wondering for the hundredth time that month why the people in his life who could stop his heart in his chest and reduce him to a gibbering mess both wore glasses, his mind briefly flashing to Joker's 'civilian' persona.

Futaba crawled on top of him, bracing herself on her hands on either side of him, effectively caging him in. Goro's heartbeat accelerated as he realized doom was upon him, both literally and metaphorically.

"I found this absolutely filthy smut fic about Joker and reader self-insert." She chuckled lowly, "Very filthy. Would you like to give it a try?" She leered at him, and he covered his face with his hands, groaning and blushing faintly.

"Of course you found it. Why am I not surprised?"

Futaba huffed in amusement, "Just think how much NSFW Joker art would increase if you ever learn how to draw…"

"There is already more than plenty of NSFW art about Joker, I'll have you know."

"Oh, don't worry, you always have me know, your phone gallery doesn't lie."

Goro groaned again.

.

Ryuji leaned back against the sofa, stretching his arms above his head as he took a break from playing so he could stuff himself with some snacks to quiet his growling stomach down.

Next to him, Goro was still glued to his controller, going through the equipment menu to pick out a new costume for Joker. Again.

It took a long while for Goro to pick, long enough for Ryuji to go through two bags of chips, two packets of pocky, and get halfway through a bag of crackers. He'd settled on a school uniform. With a skirt. Without tights.

"Are you hoping for a panty shot?" Ryuji groaned as he reached for his controller again, quickly readying his own character, "Dude, that's classical textbook perv attitude. What would your girlfriend say about it if she knew?"

Goro snorted as he started the game, "Bold of you to assume it wasn't my girlfriend who taught me 'classical textbook perv attitude' and that she doesn't know."

"...point…"

The two snuck around the area, careful not to alert the guards of the castle, until they hit a bend in the corridor leading to the door they needed to use to leave the dungeons.

There was an enemy between them and the door, so they hid around the corner and observed.

"Hey, you ready?" Ryuji asked, and Goro nodded.

Since he always picked Joker, and Joker was the best at pulling ambushes, Goro was the one who always ended up taking the lead to pull ambushes.

As Goro maneuvered Joker through the ambush, Joker flashed forward, leaping towards the enemy and using one hand to balance on the enemy's head as he twisted his body in the air before his legs came down, feet planted firmly on the enemy's shoulders.

The skirt fluttered from the movement as it made its slow descent down to-

Both Ryuji and Goro made choked sounds, Ryuji from incredulousness and Goro from glee.

"Did you see that?" Goro crowed.

Ryuji groaned, "I did… A goddamn panty shot. Why did the panties have to be red, anyway?"

"Because red is Joker's color you uncultured mess, now ready your guard before the enemy Garus you into oblivion."

.

"Futaba! Your boyfriend is being weird over Joker again!"

"Hush, Ryuji, let him be! Joker's hot! Besides, this way I know what to get Goro for his birthday."

Ryuji sighed, "Another Joker figure?"

Futaba's mouth stretched into a terrifying, face-splitting grin, causing Ryuji to feel the pressing urge to run for the hills, "No, Ryuji, that's too basic. Be a bit more creative!" She cackled, "Red panties matching Joker's!"

Ryuji facepalmed.

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End


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